Some Things Left Unsaid
by Kira'sGuardian
Summary: When his human spark is torn brutally from his life, Sideswipe considers suicide. Would her be reunited with Miabelle Davitorelli? Or will she be lost to him forever?
1. Chapter 1

Wind blew harshly across the desert, howling and lamenting its way through the hours of this fateful day. I held the dagger close to my chassis, drawing comfort from its familiar shape. The desert sands were continuously striking my faceplates over and over, throwing grains of sand, scratching and scuffing over and over, but I couldn't bring myself to care. I lost everything that day; my honor, my family, my drive for life. _My love. _The thought of her made my spark twist painfully. She was my light, the only thing keeping me from doing things like the thought running through my mind. Even now, only a month after her passing, my spark aches for her. Aches madly for that round, smooth face against my cheekplates; for those glittering green eyes to glow in the dark, whispered promises no one could keep. It aches for that small lean body against my protoform, for those dainty yet strong hands gripping mine, keeping them away from the weapon I held loosely in one servo. I looked at it. The same shade as her hair; that golden yellow, underlaid with black. Slim and wickedly sharp, the dagger reminded me starkly of her. I ran a digit over its keen edge and watched as it split the metal smoothly, drawing energon like humans draw blood. The swirling blue liquid dripped from my torn digit onto the palm of my servo, and pooled in a perfect circle. I looked across the barren world before me. It was perfectly smooth, not a single hill in sight. The energon dripped from my hand onto my forearm plating. The blue stood out in sharp contrast to the bright red that was so much my color. And the same scarlet that had dripped from her arm when my sword nipped her during battle. The same scarlet that then poured from her side when Starscream pierced a hole through her heart. Unbidden memories sprang up into my mind and replayed themselves before my eyes.

_"Wh-Who are you?" She whispered, looking at me with wide, emerald-green eyes. I crouched down so that I was level to her when she was under the desk. "It's okay," I said as she shrank back. "I'm a good guy. My name's Sideswipe. What's yours?" She relaxed marginally. "Miabelle Davitorelli." She said timidly. "I'm glad to meet you, Miabelle. Would you come with me? We need to get you away from here." The burning house around us suddenly groaned and she gasped, looking to me with wide eyes. I looked up. A piece of burning  
roof was starting to break loose. I turned back to her. "Please, Miabelle. We need to go." She looked at me shyly, then took my outstretched hand. At the same time, the roof broke free and began to fall. I grabbed her and tugged her tight against my chest. She screamed as I shoved through a broken window. She clung tighter to me and wound her arms around my neck. _

_She looked up at me and smiled happily. "You know, I can fix your cannon. Ironhide taught me a few new tricks." She took the gun from me and began cleaning it, humming softly._

_"Sideswipe, get away! You'll be killed!" The tiny human girl screamed, struggling against Devastator's huge cagelike hand, reaching for me. I shook my head. "I can't leave you here!" Tears rolled down her rosy cheeks. She rubbed them away furiously and glared at me. Our eyes met for a moment and I saw all the emotions she was hiding behind a mask of anger. She was afraid. No, terrified, but not for her own safety. Not for her life. But for my safety, my life. She knew she wasn't going to get out of there alive. She also knew I wasn't going to leave without her. "Please, Sideswipe. _Please._ Don't be stupid just for me." She whispered, cradling her bloody arm from my swords. I snarled. "I'm not leaving without you, Mia! I can't!" Starscream cackled maniacally. "Well, since you're taking so long in choosing which life you want to save, I'll just choose for you and _kill them both, _your precious human and your beloved leader." He whipped around with a flash of silver metal and Mia screamed. I did too. "_NOOO!_" I prayed that I got to her in time. Devastator dropped her to the ground and she fell into a crumpled heap, unmoving. I whirled on the Decepticons and started to fight my way to her. The whole scuffle went by quickly, and I remember seeing nothing but red. Red blood, pouring from her broken body. I stumbled to her, dazed. I was afraid now, more afraid than I'd ever been in my entire life. I lifted her body gently, and transformed, depositing her as gently as I could into the holoform's arms. I gunned my engine, Optimus following quickly behind. I flew back to the base. Mia was unmoving. No signs of life. I rolled to a stop, a few hundred yards from the base. Optimus paused for a moment, but then rumbled onward. I touched her face gently, lovingly. Her eyelids fluttered, and opened, and glazed green eyes blinked owlishly at me. "S-Side…." She started to say, but then she began to cough. I didn't know what to do. She subsided softly and fell back, exhausted. "Mia….Mia, please, _please_ don't die. Don't die. I…I won't ever mess with you again, I swear! Please, don't die. Don't die, Mia…" I subsided into whispers, rocking her back and forth. She drew in a shaky breath and lifted her hand to my face. I cupped her hand in my own and sighed, wanting her to know how much I cared for her. She blinked and drew in another shuddering breath. "Sideswipe…I…I lo..ove y-you…" She sighed. Her hand was limp in mine and her head fell against my chest. "M-Mia? Mia, no…NO! Mi-Mia…" I broke at that point. She was gone. I lifted her body closer to my own and touched my forehead to hers. "I love you too, Mia. I've always loved you…since the first day I met you. I just…never realized it til now...I love you…" I cradled her broken body for hours after that, unwilling to let go. Sunstreaker finally found me and convinced me to release her. I stood and he stared at me. I was even redder with blood than my paint._

_I watched as the casket was lowered into the ground, my face a mask of pain and sorrow. I placed a single red rose on the black coffin, then turned and walked away, angry at everyone for taking her away from me and mad at myself for not reaching her in time._

I blinked back coolants, struggling not to cry. Mia was my life. She was my red rose. I tilted the dagger and looked at the little white stone standing alone in the desert.

**Miabelle Davitorelli**

**April 17****th****, 1991-June 28****th****, 2013**

**Beloved friend and comrade**

**_Though we are gone in body, we are always present in heart._**

I knelt down and reverently drove the dagger's tip into the ground. I stepped back, admiring my handiwork for a moment. The dagger hilt was the only thing protruding from the ground before her gravestone. I stood, saluted the stone, and returned to where my brother awaited. "Feel better?" he asked, knowing I was hurting inside. "Never the same, but yes. Better."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

That was two years ago. The whole fiasco with Decepticons nearly destroying Earth and bringing back Cybertron ended three years before. Over all, it's been almost five years since I arrived on Earth, met Mia, and lost her. I've been carefully hiding the pain and blame behind a mask of happiness and eagerness to work, but sometimes I have a bit of a meltdown. Then Sunstreaker would come and just give me a shoulder to lean on while I got over it. He's the only one who actually knows what happened. He saw what happened with his own optics. I think Prime suspects, but I've been so out of it except for missions that I don't know anymore. I throw myself into my duties with a fervor I didn't know I possess, and take on every extra duty I can to keep my processor from wandering into memory banks it shouldn't. But one day, today actually, I had a bad meltdown in front of the team. Prime ordered Sunstreaker to take me to Ratchet, who put me under "berth arrest", where I'm stuck in my quarters. I'm not to leave unless ordered by Prime or Ratchet. So I've been stuck here. I hear approaching pedesteps, and Prime enters the room. He pauses in the doorway, assessing me for a moment. I glare and look away. "I won't shoot, Prime." I folded my cannon-which I'd been cleaning and repairing-back into my armor and looked back to my leader. He approached calmly, and placed his servo on my shoulder armor. "Your medical order has been lifted. Someone is here to see you." He released my servo and began to move towards the door. I made no move to follow. "You don't want to meet the visitor, Sideswipe?" Prime asked, when he heard no movement behind. "I don't want to move, Prime. I don't want to have another scene in front of the team, or any stranger." Prime seemed a bit taken aback by this. "Sideswipe, they asked for you personally, by designation. Surely you want to know who this stranger is." I frowned. "Yeah, I wanna know, but I also wanna forget everything that happened from five years ago til now, but I can't have everything I ask for, can I? Ratchet said he won't give me the deletion virus because of specific causes." The Autobot leader frowned at me. "Ratchet will perform the necessary operation provided one requirement." I was listening now. "What condition would that be?" I asked sarcastically. Optimus started to reply, but the doors to my quarters slid open, revealing a small framed femme flanked by a frustrated Sunstreaker. "Why is he taking so long to-" She stopped abruptly when she noticed me. I took her stunned silence as an opportunity to examine her. She wasn't very big, with light beginner's armor and a small frame, one would think she was a sparkling. Her green and yellow armor had crisscrossing scars on it, many across her chassis and upper arm servos. Then something in my mind clicked. "M..Mia?" My voice was so soft, I was surprised she heard me. "No, actually," She said, shaking herself and me out of our respective thoughts, "I'm your daughter, Sideswipe." I jerked backwards, startled. "I…am not a sire to any sparkling." I said slowly, watching for a reaction. She tilted her helm sideways just a tiny notch. "I'm technically Mia's daughter, but I'm not a sparkling. My designation is Tunemixtress, but I go by Tune." That really got my attention. "H-How old are you?" She brushed something off her shoulders. "In human years, I'm nineteen. Do you remember when Mia was captured by Megatron and held captive for three years?" I nodded; those days were hell for me and for any bot that crossed my path. "Well, firstly, she was used in a Sparkrape situation involving Megatron and Soundwave. Secondly, my mother is still living. She is a captive of not Megatron, but Unicron, and she's being held in a special facility inside Earth. All I know is that if any Cybertronians walk inside a specific boundary, they are changed physically into humans while within the borders. That way, Unicron can dispose of them easily." She stopped speaking and approached me. She placed her servo on my shoulder armor and looked into my optics. For a moment, I could see Mia's frightened face. "How do I know you're not trying to trick me?" I said softly, removing her servo from my armor and looking at it. Her servo was slim, much like the rest of her body, but it was more scarred than any other area, showing how hard she'd been beaten, or fought, or both. She folded it over my own, and touched her helm to mine. "Because I can show you things that only you and Mia remember. Things you never told anyone else." And with that, she touched the center of my metal palm and opened a connecting cable. Plugging it into my servo, she looked at the others. "Please, leave us for a moment?" She asked. Optimus walked quickly out, taking Sunstreaker with him. I was surprised that they trusted her. She touched a digit to my optics and told me to offline them and use only my inner screen. I did so, and watched scenes from solitary moments with Mia flicker through my mind. I knew these memories, had seen them hundreds of times in my mind at night. They were slowly driving me insane. But this femme, this youngling, she was different with these memories. I was seeing them from Mia's mind, through her eyes. I saw myself the way she saw me, not the way I saw myself. I felt the love she held for me, the genuine affection from the very beginning that grew into love. Her memories replayed in my mind like an old movie. Suddenly, I was shifted into a darker, more sinister feeling. Through Mia's eyes, I saw Megatron's glowing red optics. "Well, well. If it isn't the little red warrior's human pet," He scoffed. Mia stood tall and proud, but I could feel her fear and discomfort. "Well, if it isn't the overgrown tin can that turns into a toy blaster," she snickered bravely. A low rumbling growl was her only warning before she was slammed into a wall. Not hard enough to kill or to cause unconsciousness, but enough to break a few bones. Her wrist and shin cracked, as did one rib. Mia screamed. Megatron cackled darkly. "Ah, you are a brave human for one so…young…as yourself. Why do you trust the Autobot warrior Sideswipe, hmm, girl? You know nothing about him. You don't know how…unstable inside he really is…do you?" The low voice was hypnotic, drawing Mia's attention. She shook her head just a fraction, struggling to breathe with the force of Soundwave's tentacles pressing on her thin body. It felt strange. They slithered across her body, bringing unwanted but not unpleasant emotions. Pain spread like wildfire from between her legs and Mia blacked out. When she awoke, she was chained to a small table, high off the ground. Megatron stood silently on one side of her, Soundwave on the opposite. She looked around dazedly and then it clicked. She had been in this situation before. She knew what was happening. She was going to be violated. Again and again, by these two mechanical evils. She closed her eyes and started to scream as Megatron forced her to her feet.


End file.
